Hi, my names Graeme and I suffer from shinyitus. It’s an affliction that I’ve suffered with now for years, perhaps longer than I care to admit. Probably since I started vaping. Maybe it was always there. Lying dormant. Waiting for its chance to strike… It will build you up and, in the blink of an eye, break you down and rob you of your hopes and dreams! Ok, maybe it’s not that bad.
For those of you that don’t know what shinyitus is, allow me to explain. Shinyitus is always having to have that new piece of hardware. The Wotofo tank or the new Timesvape mech mod… You get the idea. Many a week’s food shopping budget “accidentally” squandered on the latest piece of hardware – “Great, the kids can’t eat all week, but I’ve got this hella pretty DNA250 Tugboat mod.” Food is overrated anyway, and kids are resilient, they can go a week or two without food, right?
It gets its name from the magpie with in us all that likes shiny things.
Rarely is my shinyitus actually satisfied. Largely because a lot of the new kit that comes out is almost exactly the same as the last thing that came out. I watch the reviews on YouTube. “ooh, Grim Green says the flavour from this Oumier Bulk RTA is awesome. It shall be mine.” And when I receive it, “oh it’s basically the same design as this other tank only with a slightly different airflow”. I shouldn’t fall for it. I’m not a stupid person, but shinyitus gets me every time.
I must have 10 set ups. Probably more. They all essentially do the same thing in different ways. I don’t need any new hardware, but there’s always that possibility that the next new thing is leaps and bounds ahead of the rest. The shinyitus struggle is real. It could be a game changer. Or (and this is the most likely outcome) it could be used for a week and then laid to rest in the hardware graveyard which is my work desk. Where it can live out the rest of its days as a paperweight until eventually it gets given away or sold.
As soon as vaping became a hobby, I saw it as a green light to go crazy and buy everything. Aside from the health benefits, it’s supposed to save you money, but that’s not happening on my watch.
Up until this week I had been clean of shinyitus for almost 2 months. Unfortunately, I celebrated this by buying a bunch of different kit to the tune of several hundred pounds. I am 100% sure I will never learn. #shinyitus4lyf
If you are affected by any of the shinyitus issues raised here, you can take solace in the fact that you are not alone. Unfortunately, at the time of writing, there are no support groups or phone numbers I can give you to call but know that, when the time comes, I’ll be right there beside you, also filing for bankruptcy.
Shinyitus Update 15/01/2020
I’ve found a cure for shinyitus. It works super quickly and has a 100% success rate. It’s called being skint.
Having no conceivable way to pay for something will stop you from shinyitus buying every single time.
It’s worked for me. I haven’t bought a new piece of kit in 6 months. Of course, it doesn’t stop the shinyitus want but it’s kind of like when someone gets a limb amputated and they can still feel it but they can’t use it. I spend my time looking at mods and pieces of kit that I can’t afford to buy but I never actually buy them. Now I think about it, it’s actually worse than shinyitus itself.